Home

Misspelled Cosmos and seaman,  I was drunk, alone, and emotional when I wrote it. The picture is of my last night sleeping in a house I lived in for close to 9 years. Those were the only things really left in the house.

Ceaseless

What was

Isn't

What is

Won't be

What will be won't be

Inch by inch
Day by day
In every way
Change and change and change again

Here we are in quantum death
Never dead and always dying
Always a different river always a different man
This the way of deathless dying

But what could be might be
And what might be
Very may will be
But all remains
And all is lost again and again

This the only true permanence the paradoxical nonsense of solidity

Nothing Resolves

~ nothing resolves ~

Paycheck's gone

Sleep paralysis

Days spent like puppets on strings

No anesthetic but dont scream

Scalpels and needles and stitches 

Irritation agitation 

Scrape scrape scrape

Hard to rest in bumpy rides, no cushions

Jostled and slid, bruised and tired

Time to work

The Maw

~The Maw~

Egg to husk

Always enveloped in the quantum death which is the fabric of time and the universe

Existence the festering scab on the naked skin of a perpetual nothing

Yearning restless stirrings of a soul forever quiet in the abyss

Memories 

Like unclosed surgery wounds

Oozing pus filled agitations between the fragmented organs of a fraying self

Decay masked by a jumbled coherence of meat and sinew, flesh and garment and shambling shuffling utterances

Routines and schedules the repetitive normalcies to a world of others

But always straying

Always dreaming 

Always yearning

Pushing, straining in spite of the empty sun

Dramas played out under the hollow burning pyre of a warmthless sky

That indifferent yellow king 'bove all the infestations of the earth

Connection 

Brief and hopeless 

A ceaseless returning hunger clawing at the barriers of flesh which entomb a delusional phantasm

One day that sinking ship, that hemorrhaging leaky vessel and its ephemeral passenger shall go to those strange dark depths 

A place of such utter blackness that light has never dared to touch

Down down far below

Dissolved, consumed by our lady the void, mother to all, from which all these scittering abberations arose frantic and frightful clawing for meaning against the contradictions of their being

This, the last promise of peace 

Stillness, silence 

The serenity of obliteration 

As before, so after.

Thermodynamics

Things seem to be

But they arent

They arent in creeping and seeping ways

They arent like oily rainbows in water

Nothing is

Nothing ever was

But it dances and it slithers

It poisons and pollinates

The imperceptible indefinable living death 

Inseparable and wandering 

Never breaking

Never touching 

Alway always always burning

Gungnir

ᚷᚢᚷᚾᛁᚱ

Phantom weapon I feel your presence on my shoulder, in my fist
Drinker of blood I hear your sighs
Echoing through me

I desire their deeds

Steady spear I've seen you kill a hundredfold
Thirsty creation I never tire of your work
Your trajectory like holy grace never misses

I long to feel you
To truly hold and possess
Your corporeal form closer to me than love and kisses
Weapon and man united in form
Locked in the cliffside dance

Mighty Gungnir
Old dragon
Whisperer of ruin
Silent Scepter
I heft your mighty burden with caution and lust
I long to water your red roots

All to Know

Memories float
Warm and bright
Rough texture of shag carpet
Snuggly dog before mundane school days

Secure and comfortable
Life among the living room
In the box, between the binding, or in the bit

These and more
Sediment layer or tree rings
The definition and shape of my foundation
Known to me in something below language
Felt not in cold resolution but in blurry sincere sentiment

All this between the
Hazy swell of breath
Tired and drunk
Marinading in the serenity of
Thoughts uncountable and feelings immeasurable
The messy swampy soup of life and change

All to know
The universe in a sentence
All to know
Never finished but one day done
All to know
All for love
Nothing greater
Nothing more